Nick Young at Bally: Why I didn't Say Hi and Other Happenings This Weekend

Whether you know it or not, some members of the The DC Culture Club are diehard Washington Wizards fans. No, these are not fans of the colony of real wizards who live under one of the bridges (it's a secret which one) in Rock Creek Park, but fans of one of the most disappointing professional basketball teams in world. I would say universe, but I do not know the history of the JBA (only the cleverist among you will understand this joke). 

This year's Wizards team is the worst in the league. Also, they have no pride. Can you imagine if someone told you you were the worst at something? Anything? Unless it was being nice, you would probably do everything in your power not to be the worst. Well, other than one or two players, these Wizards don't seem to care. 

Anyway, I was shopping in Georgetown with my brother in law and we stopped into the ridiculously priced Bally store where things like a "liquid Nylon" Prada jacket that has no value other than to be weird when worn by humans cost $555. We were alone downstairs in the men's department along with a sales guy and in walks a 6'6 dude with a huge flat rimmed LA Dodgers cap, a t-shirt and awkward skinny jeans that hung below his ass, and huge white hotel slippers (it was raining and about 38 degrees outside.) 

It was Nick Young. Who is Nick Young you ask? He is the Wizard's substitute shooting guard who we drafted last year 16th overall. He has a beautiful shot, can hit the three, and dunks the basketball like I used to make snow forts. An all around excellent NBA talent. Here's the thing: he doesn't care. He just doesn't. He is a goof. He jokes around in the huddle. He looks at the Jumbotron during timeouts when he should be listening to the coach. Listen, I appreciate a person being happy and Nick Young is happy and young in age and I am one of the biggest arguers (word?) that pro sports have become too serious and robotic and taken on military importance when in reality we started playing sports and watching because they are fun. Still, the Wizards are important to us Washingtonians who spent many a Friday night at 7pm watching Jeff Malone stroke a jumper from the side and then get his $&*# swatted to the third row next time down the floor and end up losing the game by 18. We have been waiting for a while for a tight team. We got one four years ago. Since then, though, we have experienced back breaking injuries and mediocrity. Now we are the worst. 

Back to Nick Young. Now we are the worst team in the league and our super talented second year shooting guard can't break the starting lineup. Disgusting (like how Mel from Flight of Conchords says disgusting when she finds out Jemaine is dressing up like Art Garfunkel so he can makeout with Chloe from 24). Anyway, what was the Nick Young going to buy in Bally? He asked the dude to take out these huge, gigantic red, poofy head phones out of the case. These headphones were ginormous. He put them on his head, and looked in the mirror with this enormous grin. He looked absolutely and utterly like a complete turkey. He loved them. Now, I would usually say hi to a local athlete because of the overall representation factor. Especially a Wizard. We walked directly by one another in the jeans aisle, he wearing his ridiculous headphones and me wearing normal human clothes and accessories. We looked at eachother in the eye. I looked down and said nothing. He didn't deserve a hi from me. He deserved my scorn and disgust. It reminded me of when it was me, Brendan Haywood and his girlfriend in line at the Barnes & Nobles...I said nothing to him. Todd Franz in Dan Snyder's box at FedEx Field. I said nothing. 

On to another thing. Enology, the new wine bar/restaurant in Cleveland Park will be knocked off the DC Culture Club list of spots to review because one member had such a lousy experience there this past weekend. He claimed the wine was average, the food was below average and improperly served. Overall, it was the weak sauce. If places are the weak sauce, they will not be allowed to host the culture club. Fact. 

New DC term being brought up from the ATL: the weak sauce. 

Random Knowledge

A number of the members of the DC Culture Club met randomly at Marvin last night for some overall representation and the 29th birthday of one DC's finest. It was Thursday night. 

This got us to thinking, which is the best night to go out? For me, in college, it was always Friday night because you were done with classes and the next day was Saturday instead of terrible Sunday. Others go with the stalwart: Saturday. You have all day to do what you do, then time to prepare yourself for the big night out with your girlfriends (oh son!). 

Others like Thursday because this essentially gives you a three-day weekend because, supporters of Thursday say, you are so hungover when you go to work and "over it" that you don't do anything except read the Daily Beast and Bill Simmons. 

Then there is Sunday. Yes, Sunday is a big night in DC. Republic Gardens. Fun things happen on Sunday. Personally, I would rather calmly have dinner with my parents on Sunday but that's just me.

I would still say Friday night is my favorite night out due to the lack of Sundayness the following day. There is something about Sunday that is just so blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sunday is like asking for a Sega Genesis with Altered Beast and getting a TurboGraphx 16 by NEC for your birthday. 

On another note, one of our members had this to say about a future spot for the group: 

"So im sitting here, watching some big east tourney, pretending to read, dreaming of spring time in dc.  And it struck me, a place that the culture club should check out when spring turns into summer and it gets a lil sultry in dc - michel richard's central.  they got a drink there called a velvet falernum mojito.  Best drink i've ever had.  My brother and I spent a month there one night last summer. The rest of their bar menu looks pretty good, but after having the velvet, I couldnt bring myself to move down the list."

Here is the drink menu: http://www.centralmichelrichard.com/pdfs/COCKTAILsept08.pdf

A Night In Moscow

Greetings Earthlings,

I wanted to post this a while back but forgot because I'm so important. Anyway, a while back I was reading one of my favorite websites www.pitchfork.com and there was a great interview with legendary DJ and M.I.A. collaborator Diplo. Interesting interview. Anyway, they asked him about his favorite experiences and he highlighted this one after-party in Moscow. Apparently, it was in a tiny place with no lights, packed with people and no one knew how to work the stereo. So it was a sucky party. But no one wanted to leave because it was negative 678 degrees outside. So Diplo throws on some random playlist from his ipod and it turns into one of the tightest parties in like a really long time. He dropped a bunch of songs off the playlist so I re-created it with some of my own additions. I call the playlist Moscow Nights and whenever I listen to it (after work laying on the living room floor with a Baker's and soda), I think of a game-tight party at 4am in the complete dark. Here is the playlist in case you all want to recreate it:

Moscow Nights:

1) Donda Esta La Playa - The Walkmen

2) SpottieOdieLicious - Outkast

3) A Change is Gonna Come - Seal

4) Fife and Drum Piece - Yonder Come the Blues

5) Hunter - Bjork

6) I Love Paris - Dean Martin 

7) Veni Vidi Vici - Black Lips

8) Lovin' U - Minnie Riperton

9) Where Did You Sleep Last Night - Leadbelly

10) Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix

11) L'Estasi Dell'Oro - Ennio Morricone (remix)

12) Time - Pink Floyd

13) Slum Beautiful - Outkast

14) Silence - Portishead

15) Chery-Coloured Funk - Cocteau Twins 

16) Reckoner - Radiohead

17) Ghosts N' Stuff - Deadmau5

18) Archangel - Burial 

19) Venus in Furs - The Velvet Underground 

20) When the Music's Over - The Doors

If you put this playlist together, tell me what you think when you listen to it all the way through. 

PS 7: BOOYAKASHOT!

Greetings and welcome to the first post on the DC Culture Club blog, sure to be the most popular blog in the United States in a few weeks. Shhhhhhhh. Leave your skepticism at the door. 

First, a quick note about the DC Culture Club. This little group was formed by a bunch of interesting Washingtonians with diverse backgrounds and careers to go out and try all of the cool bars and restaurants in Washington. We unapologetically love this city and its hangouts so we want to hang out at as many of them as we can. 

Spot #1: PS 7

http://www.ps7restaurant.com/

Here we go: 

Bombay Martini ($11): "Good, cold, dry" said DC Culture Club member Bill. "Well-served, although not the kind of twist I would do." Bill added that the drink tasted like Mexico at Christmas time. To me, the Bombay Martini looked awesome and I hate Martinis. The idea of olive juice in alcohol is stupid. Hey everybody, I mixed ketchup with gin...greatest drink on Earth. NOT!

Across the Pond ($10): Made of Bulleit/Six Grapes Port/Lemon. This was my drink. One word: underwhelmed. I wrote down "not bad" for this drink. The name was amazing, which is why I think I was disappointed. I put a lot into names. Fact. Which is why I bought both blu-ray DVDs of Afro-Samurai without knowing anything. Let me say this: greatest anime film...ever. And I thought this was an impossibility after Ninja Scroll.  

Hibiscus Margarita ($7): I thought this was the least impressive name/drink combo. But I did not try it. DC Culture Club member Quinn loved it. He claimed the drink tasted like his $600 Cowboy Boots, which apparently taste really great. 

Scorched Milk ($10): Made of Woodford Reserve/Sauternes. "Glorious" said DC Culture Club member Don after his first sip. After a while, though, he claimed maybe it was too sweet. The group concluded that Scorched Milk is a superior dessert drink after dinner, but less tight as a pre-dinner drink. I would like to add that I LOVE Sauterne wine. It's a dessert wine. It is delicious like a Redskins Super Bowl that I'll never see again. And we're going to move on. 

Impervious Heart ($10): Quite simply, a masterpiece. It was beautiful and it tasted beautiful. It's topped off with a painting of a heart that is made up of like ground cinnamon and it breaks apart as you drink it. Sort of like when Megatron kills Optimus Prime in the first Transformer cartoon movie that I watched in the theater and cried as a child. We're going to move on. 

Easy as Sunday ($10): Made of Plymouth Gin/Kumquat/Cactus Honey. Okay, so Impervious Heart is a masterpiece. You really only order one of these. Easy as Sunday is the best drink drink, which you could have multiple ones of. It's made of kumquats and gin. Tastes like you got home from a lousy day at work, watched Sports Center or Reality Housewives Atlanta depending on your gender, going to bed and waking up the next day on the beach of St. Tropez as a billionaire. 

The Situation Rum ($10): Made of Mount Gay XO/Cointreau/Hibiscus Tea. This was fine. You know? Like it was fine. But I am just not a fan of Cointreau. I don't even know what that is. It also comes in an awkward and pretentious annoying short bottle. It's just weird. 

Vanilla Sidecar ($10): Made of Brandy/Lime/House-made Vanilla syrup. Incredible. Simply incredible. Blown away by the house-made vanilla syrup (huge fan of vanilla syrup). I asked for extra syrup and my request was met, and one-upped. Well played, PS 7, well played. 

The Flatbreads ($10-$12): Okay, all of the flatbreads were amazing. You know how you go to nice restaurants and you get appetizers and they're delicious, but you wish there was more? Well, PS 7 has perfected the art of more appetizer. There was prosciutto, goat cheese, duck etc. Just all delicious and heated up. It was like watching Andre Agassi return a Pete Sampras serve that was just in on the corner baseline at Wimbledon. 

Charcuterie ($21 for 3 people): A solid order. Dried sausage, genoa salami-like meats, smoked duck breast and these premium breadsticks. Felt great about this and could have eaten nine more orders. 

Dauphine Bars ($5): These were like fried sliced potato and cheese bars with sprinkled dried veal on top. Okay, everyone thought these were average--except me. SPECTACULAR! DELICIOUS! PS 7 could charge double for these. Very awesome. It tasted like when I crossed my cousin Sam up over at Madison Park in Arlington and I touched him so bad, his knees buckled and he missed work for a week. Is that a true story? Yes, it's a true story. He is 36 now. He called me the other day and goes: "My knee still isn't right." It's been 14 years. 

To the X Factors: The bartender and the bathroom. First a word, one of the side missions of the DC Culture Club is to find the greatest bathroom at a bar/restaurant in all of DC. This award will be handed out at the end of our journey, whenever that is. We are fed up with the damn lousy bathrooms in this city and all cities that make us want to throw up when we walk in. ENOUGH! 

The men's room at PS 7 was "solid" as member Quinn said. And that is right on. Our big two issues: 1) there is one stall and a two-seater urinal (not enough for the size of the place) and 2) it was just sort of unkept. Paper towels on the floor etc. The decor was exquisite with awesome sinks and ambiance, though. So "solid".  I'm told the women's room was about the same but just nicer. 

Okay, bartender/server Gina Chersevani is a city treasure. It was a busy night. She was making drinks and serving them. She was soooooo nice. Phenomenal personality and made us want to stay longer than we originally wanted. Put simply, she is the reason to go to PS 7 over any other bar. 

Overall rating: 8.5

Gina was a 10. The drinks were a 10. The food was a 9.5. There was just something missing with the atmosphere to get it over the 9 mark. We couldn't really put our finger on it. We loved the food and drinks and Gina, but it was something about the overall atmosphere and we think it may have been the crowd. We went on a Friday night and maybe the crowd just didn't bring their A game. If they had, I could easily have seen this overall rating as a 9.5. 

If you want to see our pictures from the night, click here. 

Okay, one bar down, so many more to come. Next up, The Gibson. Aw yeaaaah. We said it. The Gibson.